An ethical will is a non-legal document that records your memories, stories, beliefs, rituals, values, and/or prayers—the spiritual legacy for which you want to be remembered. The tradition of bequeathing a spiritual legacy is very old indeed, having been first described 3000 years ago. Initially, these were transmitted orally, only later to become written documents.  Interest in the practice has grown in recent years.

You can address an ethical will to one person, to some or all of your family, or to a wider circle of friends, such as those who attend your memorial service. Once written, the document can be given away immediately, attached to your regular will, or read at your memorial. Some people begin writing an ethical will when they know they are dying, but some begin working on it earlier in life. It might be written to a newborn, with new entries made at each birthday. It might be something that a couple does together as a way of knowing each other better. Or it might even be written to someone who has already died as a way of keeping that connection alive.

In writing an ethical will, you might include some or all of the following elements:

• An opening that addresses to whom you are writing

• A description of your family and the events that shaped its history
• Who were the people that most shaped who you became in your life?
• What events—either within your family, in your community, or in the world—were especially influential?

• Your own personal history focusing on influential people, places, experiences 
• What do you remember most?  
• When did you feel most alive? 
• What important roles have you played—within your family, in your community or at work?
• What in life did you appreciate most?  What did you regret most?
• What would you want family and friends to know about you?  How do you want to be remembered?

• Important messages to say to loved ones (even if it means repeating words already said)
  This part could be done within the body of an ethical will intended for many people, or as separate private letters written to a few key people.

• Are there any important misdeeds for which you want to express remorse and/or ask for forgiveness?
• Is there an old wound that you want to let go of, to offer forgiveness to others or to your self? 
• Is there anyone to whom you want to say “Thank you” and/or “I love you”?
• What hopes and dreams do you have for the people whom you love who will survive you?

• A description of your values, beliefs, ideals and/or spiritual practices
• A review of rituals and/or teachings that have been important to you
• What you wish you had known at an earlier age
• Requests you have of family or friends for after you die

• An ending that declares your closing wish or prayer